Drivel Box
by Kyosplosion
Summary: What it sounds like! A fanfiction where completely weird things happen to everybody! Rated for some language.
1. Beach Trap

Sonic was running along the Emerald Coast, looking for something to do. Everything had been rather quiet since Eggman had taken a small vacation from his invasions.

Suddenly, a giant chain emerged from the ground & wrapped around the blue hedgehog's legs, tripping him. "Ow! What the heck?" Sonic cursed as he faceplanted into the sand.

"Hee hee hee..." a sinister, high-pitched laugh emerged from some bushes. Sonic narrowed his eyes.

"Show yourself!" the hero barked annoyedly.

"Sure!" the bushed rustled, & parted to reveal a very familiar person...

"Amy? What the heck?" Sonic's lower jaw hit the sand.

"My Sonikku! Now we can be together _forever!_" Amy squealed. The pink hedgehog uprooted the chain & began dragging her prisoner away from the water.

"Where in heck are you taking me?" Sonic demanded, terrified of what Amy had in store for him.

"We're going on a date to the 'Pink Princess Cafe' for tea!" Amy cheered.

One could hear the scream on the moon.


	2. The Master Moron

A certain red character we love very much was stomping through the wooded area of Angel Island, looking _very_ pissed off. His head was steaming, he was so mad.

"Why the _hell_ did Rouge have to take the Master Emerald & _hide_ it?" Knuckles growled angrily, thinking back to the event that had taken place about a half hour ago...

_It was just a normal day for Knuckles, standing & guarding the Master Emerald. Many people (mostly Sonic) pestered him about how he could stand in front of a rock doing nothing all day. The echidna always shook it off angrily- they had no inkling on how important his job was & how dedicated he needed to be to it._

_"Knuckies!" a call from above caused Knuckles to narrow his eyes & look up at who he hoped it wasn't. But sure enough, a bat with white fur & black wings was circling overhead, drawing closer. _

_"ROUGE!" Knuckles snarled at her, "What the _hell_ are you doing here?"_

_"Now, now, no need to get snappy," Rouge scolded playfully, "I just came here for some fun."_

_"You're not getting the Master Emerald!" Knuckles proclaimed, running in front of said Emerald to shield it. Rouge tsked._

_"Now who said I was going to _take_ the Master Emerald?" Rouge scoffed. "How rude!"_

_Knuckles glared at the bat. "Then what the heck _are_ you going to do?" he growled._

_Before Knuckles knew what happened, Rouge had lifted the Emerald & tossed it out into the woods. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" the echidna screamed._

_"You're too strict. Lighten up; spend some time with me," Rouge suggested._

_"No way!" Knuckles yelled, dashing off into the forest, leaving Rouge shaking her head._

_"He doesn't get it, does he..."  
_

Knuckles had been searching for the Emerald ever since, but had not seen even a glimmer of it. He noticed something far ahead that shone somewhat like a Chaos Emerald.

"What is _that?"_ Knuckles mumbled suspiciously, approaching the object. It flew upwards, & the echidna realized that it was a firefly. He kicked the bug which had distracted his search.

Not ten minutes later Knuckles heard a very loud buzzing noise. "What the..." he turned around & his pupils shrunk. A whole _army_ of fireflies was headed for him in an attack formation! Before he had time to attack, the bugs had lifted the guardian off his feet & began carrying him. "PUT ME DOWN!" Knuckles screamed, but no matter how hard he punched, or how much he struggled, he couldn't break free of the flies.

Minutes later the fireflies dumped him into a clearing & dispersed quickly. The red Mobian stood, dusted himself, & took a look around. He froze when he saw what was in the clearing with him. A gigantic, mutated firefly-Mobian stood in front of him. It wore a crown with a red robe- & a menacing glare.

The bug charged, & Knuckles muttered, "Oh, shi-"

When Rouge heard a scream coming from the forest, she shook her head. "Idiot..." she murmured.


	3. Malfunctions & Jelly Rolls

Eggman's laboratory stayed lit all night long tonight. But then again, it was often lit up all night. The evil scientist grinned widely & pumped a fist in the air. "YES!" he yelled, the exclamation ringing through the rest of his house. He wiped the sweat off his forehead. "It's finally finished," he whispered with joy.

His computer looked the same as it always did- full of confusing-looking programs. But today, the programs were easier to read- they all circled around an anti-virus plan of some sort. "My super-system is finally complete!" Eggman's 'maniacal genius' face showed up, & he let out an evil cackle. Then his face turned back to normal. Talking to no-one in particular, he babbled about his program. "...and it's equipped with state-of-the-art technology which notifies me when someone gets past the alpha firewall, & I activate the backup..." Since nobody would understand, we cut to the part where Eggman activates his program.

"All I do is push this button, & nobody will be able to hack me again!" Eggman's finger hovered right above the button, & pressed the activate button. "I press this!"

At once the computer began making beeps of all sorts, activating the program as Eggman sat back & watched. To the scientist's surprise, a new program popped up! Annoyed at the interruption, he swiveled his chair closer as to read better.

A long beep was heard. "Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."

All at once, new text began appearing on the screen-

_I am error. Press any key to restart._

Eggman frowned & pressed the "o" key.

_System not found. Insert install disk._

"Which install disk does it want?" Eggman cried, looking through his stack of disks.

_Disk not found. Please confirm the disk cover is closed._

"Of course the disk wasn't found, I haven't put it in yet, idiot!" Eggman yelled.

_Read error. Insert boot disk & press enter._

"What in heck is a boot disk?" Eggman wondered. He pushed the enter key.

_No response. System may be busy or melting into slag._

"...Melting into slag?"

_Application error. Save your work & quit._

Eggman frantically began to save all his anti-virus programs, fearing their loss, when they suddenly all closed.

_You lost everything. Way to go, genius._

"Noooooooooooo! My program!" Eggman cried in agony. He glared at his malfunctioning computer.

_Waiting for processors. _

"What processors?"

_404 computer hamsters not found._

"What the heck?" Eggman cried. "Computer hamsters?"

_Threat level upgraded to Jelly Roll 1._

Eggman decided right then & there to buy a new computer.

_Beebleblip!_

_C:/ Run insult generator_

"My computer has an insult generator?"

_C:/ Go away yeti-lip!_

Eggman lost it. "YETI-LIP?" he punched the screen, but the screen displayed one last message.

_CTRL ALT DELETE!_

With these dying words, the computer screen transformed into a Chinese dragon-esque head, & a long body to match. Eggman gulped.

"Crap."

* * *

**Jelly rolls to those who guess what game that dialogue is from! **

**Hint: it isn't a Sonic game! :D**


	4. Jabbermowathingamabobber

Tails was flying around Westopolis for no particular reason, looking for something to do. He spotted a particularly interesting area & hovered down to it. The kitsune waved at a commoner, who ran away screaming.

"What is going on here?" Tails asked no one in particular. Everyone around him screamed. "Look! It's the jabbermoweervotorynaxadratyun! RUN FOR YOU LIFE!" a man yelled out.

Within seconds the plaza was completely barren. "What the heck just happened?" the kitsune wondered irritably. He got his answer when a giant yellow, striped rat came stomping down the streets. It picked up a store & ate everything inside, & proceeded to chomp on the street.

Tails backed away slowly & pretended that the event never happened.


	5. Mud

Silver floated around the Green Hill Zone, admiring the rolling green hills & pretty flowers. The lake in the distance make for an extremely pretty view, combined with the birds & hills. It was so much different from the future which he had grown up in.

The white hedgehog continued on his way obliviously, when a shadow rushed behind him. Silver turned around quickly to find nobody behind him. He shrugged & continued on his merry way.

Some bushes on the side of the road rustled, & the hedgehog turned to them suspiciously. He pushed his way through to discover... a puddle of mud. It was always the mud.

Suddenly, a solid force hit Silver in the back, sending the unfortunate guy faceplanting into the mud. He pulled his face out with a loud POP! & wailed, "WHY? IT'S _ALWAYS _THE MUD!"

"Looks like I got you again, Silver!" the voice belonged to a lavender cat, adorned with a feather-like ponytail and a red gem on her forehead. She also donned a purple coat.

"Bla-aze!" Silver whined. Ever since they had arrived from the future, Blaze had always done evil (but funny) things to him- such as tickle him, lock him in the hotel rooms, lock him OUT of the hotel rooms, & things such as this. And suddenly, Silver got an idea.

Silver reached out to grab the cat's ankle & pulled. With a yelp, Blaze was also sitting in the mud, miffed at what her friend had done to her. "Now look what you've done! This is my favorite coat!" Blaze complained, but the white hedgehog caught a smile on her face.

"Consider this payback!" Silver chuckled, & received a mudball to the face. He wiped the guck off his face, laughed, & tossed some at his friend. A mud war broke out as the two Mobians hurled handfuls of mud at each other in an attempt to get him/her dirtier than she/he was. Sure, Blaze was irked by the fact that her favorite coat was covered in mud, but she would get over it. After all, it was Silver who had caused it, right?


	6. Friends & a Cup of Sugar

Now, who's heard of the saying, "Short end of the stick"? I'm sure most of you have.

Well, this little quote applies to a certain young girl we all know. Not in the way that it is supposed to be taken, however...

"Oh, dear... I can't get at the sugar."

Cream the Rabbit was standing in her mother's kitchen, a yellow glass bowl sitting on the table. The young girl's eyes were locked on a cabinet far above her short head. "Chao..." her Chao, Cheese, whimpered.

For the cake recipe Cream was mixing up, she required half a cup of sugar. Although she had the measuring cup, the poor girl just couldn't reach the shelf the ingredient was on. Her mother prohibited her from flying with her ears in the house- there was too high a possibility that she would knock something over & break it.

Cream attempted jumping to the shelf- however, she was unsuccessful. Fetching a chair & standing on it got her just shy of the handle to the door. "Maybe I can't make this recipe after all..." she sighed discouragingly.

Cheese took on a determined expression. He flew up to the cabinet, opened it, & drew out the sugar. The Chao nearly dropped the ingredient from it's weight, but he managed to put it down in front of the sparkly-eyed Cream.

"Great job, Cheese! Oh, I don't know what I'd do without you..." Cream praised, enveloping her Chao in a hug.

"Chao!" Cheese chirped happily.


End file.
